sarcasm // idgaf

don't stop, it'll soon be here

2011-05-29T06:34:00.000-07:00

OFFICIALLY ENROLLED. I am now officially a sophomore pharmacy student. Besides the fact that our schedule is really toxic, i'm really looking forward to this coming school year. I'm a bit nervous and at the same time, excited. :D

I would have to say that, so far, this would have to be the most stressful enrollment I had and it's all because of the P.E. registration/reservation thing. Last year, we had our P.E. by block. This year, we had the freedom to choose one on our own. The day before the on-campus enrollment, you could already access the P.E. reservation in the myUSTE student portal. Of course, no one really knew if this was really an official online reservation for P.E. courses because it was categorized under "online enrollment," meaning it was only for students who were going to enroll via online.

At the end, we found out that the online reservation was valid. I found out that the P.E. I chose was for first year students only but I was allowed to take it since the teacher, who registered my P.E. schedule, was the same teacher who will be teaching me Badminton this coming school year and he allowed me to take his class. OH! And the thing i'm nervous about is: the only person I know who has the same P.E. and schedule as I am is the blockmate that I like/have a crush on.

[I was given two awards by Bubbles. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'll be talking about that in my next post. I promise! I really appreciate it.] :D

It's driving me mad; I miss you so bad

2011-05-22T00:46:00.000-07:00

FIRST THINGS FIRST:

I WANT TO THANK ALL MY ONLINE FRIENDS WHO GAVE ME ADVICES IN MY PREVIOUS POST AND TRULY SHOWED THEIR CONCERN FOR WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT TRULY HELPED. :D

NEXT

Bubbles! Thank you for granting my request of making a doodle of a PANDA for me. I truly appreciate it. :D THANK YOU.

LASTLY:

I've been tagged by Bubbles!

RULES:

1. Each tagged person must post ten things about themselves.

2. You have to choose and tag ten people.

3. Go to their blogs and tell them you tagged them.

4. No tag backs.

5. Have fun.

1. I was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. I grew up there and started studying in the Philippines when I was in 3rd grade.

2. I have an older brother and he is now 21 years old.

[me and my brother enjoying the swings in a park somewhere in Riyadh]

3. I hope I would be able to take up Clinical Pharmacy in the future which is the 5th year for Pharmacy. Wish me luck.

4. All my life I've wanted to be a doctor and i'm really hoping, in the future, I would be able to become a student of UST's Faculty of Medicine and Surgery. Pray for me, I really really need to achieve this.

5. I'm afraid of clowns. Can't even post a picture of this. lol.

6. My favorite actor is Johnny Depp just because of the fact that he's an awesome actor.

7. My favorite color is green and black but I like green more. Sorry, black.

8. I'm short. lol. I wasn't blessed with height.

9. I only wear shorts when I have something underneath it, like leggings or stockings and I always wear sneakers. Chuck's, to be exact. I collect them, actually.

10. I LOVE PANDAS! :D

every part in my heart i'm giving out

2011-05-17T02:11:00.000-07:00

And now it all begins.

I find it weird whenever I experience that awkward moment wherein I post something new and the song that i'm currently listening to just happens to have that "particular" verse that somehow relates to what i'm about to write.

ANYWAYS...Basically, i'm letting it all out. That's one of the reasons why I created this blog, to share and express whatever needs to be expressed. At the same time, by doing this, i'm hoping that someone out there may be able to help me.

[IMPORTANT PART OF THE E-MAIL: Please talk to someone, seek professional help immediately. We have partner organizations listed below. Do you live in Manila?]

[IMPORTANT PART OF THE E-MAIL: You should definitely seek medical help.]

What you see above are screencap images that I took from my e-mail account. The first one was from The Natasha Golbourn Foundation and the other one was from Depnet.ph. What exactly do they have in common? They're both sites that focuses on helping out people undergoing depression or for people wanting to know about depression. Recently, I have gone through "difficult" phases in which I don't have to necessarily discuss in this post and because of that, I wrote to both these organization/foundation to find answers or solutions to what I can do regarding my "situation." Just to let you know, I don't know if i'm depressed. That's the reason why I wrote to them. These are their replies. My only problem right now is I don't know the first step I should take. I don't really know in what position I am in right now and I don't know if I should take their advice and start making appointments with a psychiatrist. If ever I do, I don't have the money for it because my family doesn't know anything about this. Both my parents are currently working abroad and i'm not that close with them. Seriously, I can't share anything private or personal with them even if I wanted to.

As for telling friends: I've been trying to manipulate people into thinking what I want them to think about me. My close friends even told me that even after a long time knowing me, they still can't tell who I really am. Somewhat, unpredictable. I don't want them to know what i'm really going through because I don't want people feeling sorry for me or trying to act different around me just because they know that i'm going through a "situation." I know what i'm saying may sound like utter nonsense.

I know this is a bit awkward, asking help from strangers. Still...

If someone is actually reading this post and has any advice, at all, please feel free to give me some. I really need help. I need to know what's the next step for me to take.

exactly how long, I don't know

2011-05-12T10:17:00.000-07:00

Now i'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking.

And i'm dying to know, is it killing you like it's killing me.

I don't know what to say, since a twist of fate when it all broke down.

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

- Taylor Swift // The Story of Us

Currently obsessing over Taylor Swift's song just because of the fact that I can totally relate with it. Typical teenage relationship drama. Girl meets boy. Girl likes boy, boy likes girl. Something goes wrong. Both get hurt; but, one greater than the other. END.

Before I start ranting or sharing about ~~not so~~ important things about my life, I would first like to take this opportunity and turn this post into an official introduction to myself or my life. I'm glad to be able to know new people through this blog. I got the chance to get to know you, now i'm hoping you would like to get to know me, too.

[By the way, THANK YOU FOR THE COMMENTS IN MY PREVIOUS POST.]

Hey random readers/bloggers. My name is Sarah but in the blogging community I prefer to be called "SAYRAAH." Reason behind that is I just like typing it. That's it. LOL. I'm 17 years old, turning ~~legally~~ 18 this coming November. I don't watch TV. I download the series' that I like to watch because I don't like commercial interruptions. The series' I watch right now are: House, Raising Hope, Glee, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, Modern Family and Community. I spend most of my time in my room; on my laptop, surfing the net, watching downloaded series & movies and listening to music. I love hanging out with my friends and going to the mall but not for shopping. I don't like shopping. Instead, we watch movies, eat, play arcade, take pictures, eat, eat and EAT. Basically, I love eating. I love food. I'm not overweight, which is hard to believe in my part. I remember the last time I went to McDonalds, I ordered spaghetti, chicken nuggets with rice, regular fries with Sprite and 2 burgers for take-out. One is for my brother, the other one was for me to eat on my way home. LOL.

I guess that's it. That's me and my socially-awkward/weird self. I hope we could still be friends after sharing those information about myself.

because nobody gives a damn about the day that you were born

2011-05-09T08:01:00.000-07:00

One year.

One ~~amazingly~~ STRESSFUL and CONFUSING year...and i'm back.

For the past years I have been able to own three blogs and have managed to delete each one of them, too. The reason I deleted them was because I thought I didn't need to write anymore. I felt I didn't have to express anything because I no longer have to hide my feelings or opinions anymore but, of course, I was wrong. Just when I thought everything was going great, everything turned out exactly the opposite of what I had hoped for and here I am, once again. I discovered that i'm still on the verge of self-discovery and that even the people close to you can't help you with your problems.

I'm guessing at some point I may end up deleting this account but, i'll do my best NOT to just because I feel that what i'm doing right now can be an actual contributing factor to whatever it is that may happen in the future.

Keeping my hopes up and maybe while doing this I can manage to make new friends, too.

READERS [if there are any...lol] leave a comment and introduce yourselves. Name, age, interests or whatever it is you'd like to share. I would truly appreciate that.